Life crises come in all shapes and sizes, and usually when we least expect them.
Retirement is one, but think of the hundreds of others : divorce, bereavement, getting downsized, resigning from your work for whatever reason, breaking up a business partnership.......the list is endless. Most people suffer at least one, and perhaps several or even many of these life-changing events. Mine have included two divorces, two bereavements, a major business crash, and a serious attempted suicide. The effects can be devastating.
But there is another, a seldom considered aspect to these traumatic occurrences. They present you with a wonderful opportunity for self assessment. A chance to pause, to take an in depth look at yourself, and perhaps to make adjustments in your life which will dramatically improve your happiness and self satisfaction. After all, we all seek happiness and self fulfillment, don't we ? What is happiness, anyway ? There are probably as many definitions of happiness as there are people on the planet. A random internet search produces the following :
-Happiness comes down to the difference between commitment and attachment -Happiness is social relationships -Happiness is individualistic, varying from one person to another -Happiness is a recipe that includes a number of ingredients -Happiness and unhappiness are two sides of the same coin -Happiness is the highest good -Happiness is about having each tiny wish come true -Happiness is delivered through focussing on the key areas of your life -Happiness is connected with diet and exercise -Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is inside you now -Happiness is the most important and the ultimate objective in life -Happiness is a set of skills you must learn
Clearly, a stringent self examination must be beneficial.
Dr Tal David Ben-Shahar is a professor who has pioneered a pyschology class called Happiness 101. Very popular in the United States, this has developed into very popular television programmes and dvd's, and a bestselling book. He defines happiness as the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Experiences can be either pleasurable or meaningful or both. Happiness is where the two overlap. Dr Ben-Shahar wants his goal oriented Harvard students to learn that happiness is the ultimate currency, not money or success. They should focus on the journey, rather than on the material results of what they are going to get. In other words, one can enjoy every step of the process, and appreciate all of the little things along the way.
If you think about it, this makes perfect sense. But how many of us actually practice it ? Google Happiness 101 with Tal Ben-Shahar.
There is a new branch of science known as Positive Psychology, which has been developed by Dr Martin Seligman, of the University of Pennsylvania, where he is Director of the Centre of Positive Psychology. Dr Seligman is successfully wooing the study of pyschology away from its traditional narrow minded focus on pathology, victimology, and mental illness to positive emotion, virtue and strength, and positive institutions.
Genes or luck do not in themselves create happiness. We can cultivate happiness, however, by identifying and developing many of the strengths and traits we already possess. Dr Seligman terms these "signature strengths", and declares these can be nutured and developed into natural buffers against the misfortunes and negative emotions we all suffer, resulting in marked improvements in our relationships, careers, and health. This is why a life crisis is such a good moment to examine ourselves in order to identify our "signature strengths".
Dr Seligman has devised a "Signature Strengths Survey" to assist with this process.
Much more can be learned at his website at Authentic Happiness (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx).
Finally, if you really want to take your life in hand and achieve real and lasting happiness, try googling these:
BBC News: The Happiness Formula, American Psychological Association (APA), European Network for Positive Psychology, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Positive Organizational Scholarship at the University of Michigan School of Business, Positive Psychology Center: Research Information, Quality of Life Research Center, VIA Institute on Character, Positive Psychology Anthem. - 31877
Retirement is one, but think of the hundreds of others : divorce, bereavement, getting downsized, resigning from your work for whatever reason, breaking up a business partnership.......the list is endless. Most people suffer at least one, and perhaps several or even many of these life-changing events. Mine have included two divorces, two bereavements, a major business crash, and a serious attempted suicide. The effects can be devastating.
But there is another, a seldom considered aspect to these traumatic occurrences. They present you with a wonderful opportunity for self assessment. A chance to pause, to take an in depth look at yourself, and perhaps to make adjustments in your life which will dramatically improve your happiness and self satisfaction. After all, we all seek happiness and self fulfillment, don't we ? What is happiness, anyway ? There are probably as many definitions of happiness as there are people on the planet. A random internet search produces the following :
-Happiness comes down to the difference between commitment and attachment -Happiness is social relationships -Happiness is individualistic, varying from one person to another -Happiness is a recipe that includes a number of ingredients -Happiness and unhappiness are two sides of the same coin -Happiness is the highest good -Happiness is about having each tiny wish come true -Happiness is delivered through focussing on the key areas of your life -Happiness is connected with diet and exercise -Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is inside you now -Happiness is the most important and the ultimate objective in life -Happiness is a set of skills you must learn
Clearly, a stringent self examination must be beneficial.
Dr Tal David Ben-Shahar is a professor who has pioneered a pyschology class called Happiness 101. Very popular in the United States, this has developed into very popular television programmes and dvd's, and a bestselling book. He defines happiness as the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Experiences can be either pleasurable or meaningful or both. Happiness is where the two overlap. Dr Ben-Shahar wants his goal oriented Harvard students to learn that happiness is the ultimate currency, not money or success. They should focus on the journey, rather than on the material results of what they are going to get. In other words, one can enjoy every step of the process, and appreciate all of the little things along the way.
If you think about it, this makes perfect sense. But how many of us actually practice it ? Google Happiness 101 with Tal Ben-Shahar.
There is a new branch of science known as Positive Psychology, which has been developed by Dr Martin Seligman, of the University of Pennsylvania, where he is Director of the Centre of Positive Psychology. Dr Seligman is successfully wooing the study of pyschology away from its traditional narrow minded focus on pathology, victimology, and mental illness to positive emotion, virtue and strength, and positive institutions.
Genes or luck do not in themselves create happiness. We can cultivate happiness, however, by identifying and developing many of the strengths and traits we already possess. Dr Seligman terms these "signature strengths", and declares these can be nutured and developed into natural buffers against the misfortunes and negative emotions we all suffer, resulting in marked improvements in our relationships, careers, and health. This is why a life crisis is such a good moment to examine ourselves in order to identify our "signature strengths".
Dr Seligman has devised a "Signature Strengths Survey" to assist with this process.
Much more can be learned at his website at Authentic Happiness (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx).
Finally, if you really want to take your life in hand and achieve real and lasting happiness, try googling these:
BBC News: The Happiness Formula, American Psychological Association (APA), European Network for Positive Psychology, National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), Positive Organizational Scholarship at the University of Michigan School of Business, Positive Psychology Center: Research Information, Quality of Life Research Center, VIA Institute on Character, Positive Psychology Anthem. - 31877
About the Author:
Peter Shaw is a semi retired writer, bookseller and bookbinder living in the Great Karoo, South Africa. He writes articles and eBooks on the central themes of retirement and happiness. Read more on Peter's website atabcdigitalbooks
